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Post by Naitia La-Don on Mar 8, 2009 22:45:00 GMT 1
Naitia stops abruptly and turns back facing him, looking him in the eyes.
"Are you enjoying yourself by insulting me like that?" Her voice is calm, but it's with an effort. She's still using the Force calming herself.
"Fine. WHY couldn't you vouch for anymore?"
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Post by Derek Arnau on Mar 8, 2009 23:19:58 GMT 1
Derek folds his arms across his chest, looking at Naitia with a wry smile.
“Why? Too many rules, too many things to take into account. Never free to do what you want with your own time. To be with the people you care about. Always on some endless quest to save the galaxy – and to what use? Most Jedi are naïve that way”
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Post by Naitia La-Don on Mar 8, 2009 23:25:09 GMT 1
"Naive like me, right?" She sighs a bid.
"Fine, now I know why you left. Are you satiisfied?"
She turns again to walk towards the door.
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Post by Derek Arnau on Mar 10, 2009 12:49:33 GMT 1
Derek doesn't let her off the hook that easily. He follows her, the wry smile still on his lips.
"The question is whether you're satisfied, you were the one who wanted to know, remember? Maybe you don't understand the answer?"
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Post by Naitia La-Don on Mar 10, 2009 13:41:40 GMT 1
Naitia stops, now at the door. She turns and looks at him again, still calm.
"I did understand the answer, no matter if you believe it or not. And yes, it was a better answer. But I guess that we won't agree on the conditions of why you left. Since I'm still in the Order, and can still vouch for their rules and how we live. We'll just be arguing about it, all the way to Coruscant."
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Post by Derek Arnau on Mar 10, 2009 19:48:20 GMT 1
"Well sure why not, let's!" Derek growls low "At least that's more fun than sitting for hours doing nothing, or watching you run away from me all the time, because, apparently you can't handle me"
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Post by Naitia La-Don on Mar 10, 2009 20:03:08 GMT 1
Naitia sighs and crosses her arms. Her eyes shows a little hint of irritation.
"I don't want to argue, even with you. And if you're tired of running around after me, so don't. I'm a little tired of hearing you insultning me like that, so that's why I want to leave you alone with your very interesting table."
She doesn't turn this time, thinking he would just follow her again, so she's just waiting for his next move.
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Post by Derek Arnau on Mar 11, 2009 18:01:44 GMT 1
"Oh, so you don’t agree with why I left the order? You think the order’s all in good working order? That nothing’s wrong? Give me one good reason I should have stayed then? One example of you doing some great work – that others couldn’t have done? I mean…they send you out as a –carrier- Is that really honorable work to you?"
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Post by Naitia La-Don on Mar 11, 2009 18:11:53 GMT 1
Naitia smiles, trying not to laugh, a little while shaking her head. This is what she gets out of saying she doesn't want to argue? She leans up against the doorframe a little while watching him.
"IF the council think, that you can help with the current situation, then yes, it will be a honorable mission. If not ..." she shrugs. "Then it would be one of those ... what did you call it ... endless quests to no use, that will come in my future life in the Order."
She stands up fully again, sighing. "You have tried to live outside the Order and I haven't. I only know this life, and I prefer it. I accept that you have your oppinions about the Order, as long as you accept I have mine. Now if you'll excuse me."
She turns away from him to walk away again.
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Post by Derek Arnau on Mar 11, 2009 21:41:04 GMT 1
"how can you prefer something, when you haven't tried anything else? You have no idea what you're missing" he snorts "And I can't really accept your opinions about the Order, seeing as you haven't told me any of them"
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Post by Naitia La-Don on Mar 11, 2009 21:54:09 GMT 1
Naitia stops in her tracks. There's something there, and to some level, he's right.
She turns again, walks a little slowly back towards him, taking a deep breath, before stopping in front of him.
"You're right. I haven't tried any other life. But ... I have, in my time as a Padawan, travelled to many planets. I have seen how those people have lived their lives. It's not the same as living it yourself, but it gives one, an impression of another life. There are some things, that you can't do as a Jedi, but it doesn't bother me. If I wanted to live in any other kind of life than I do today," she pause for a moment,while looking him in the eyes. "than I could also have left the Order if I wanted to. But I didn't."
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Post by Derek Arnau on Mar 12, 2009 21:34:35 GMT 1
Derek crosses his arms looking at naitia rather pleased with him self. "Well well well, now we actually have a conversation going. Wasn’t so hard, was it? Then, tell me. What is it, that’s made you stay in the Order? What’s so great about it, from your point of view?"
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Post by Naitia La-Don on Mar 12, 2009 21:39:07 GMT 1
Naitia smiles while shaking her head. She considers her answer for a moment before saying anything.
"Before I answer that question, I have another one for you." She looks at him curious to see his reaction. "Do you still feel that you can use the Force, even though you're not a part of the Order anymore?"
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Post by Derek Arnau on Mar 12, 2009 21:45:59 GMT 1
You mean, whether I can, or whether I should? I can, of course use the force? Of course I can use the force. The link to the Force doesn't wither, just because you turn your back on the Order. Untrained people can also use the force, though they do it subconsciously." he thinks for a sec. "Should I, then? Well, each person who have left the order must answer that question themselves. I'll use the Force, if I need it. If it can save my life, or the life of someone I know. Do I use the Force everyday? No" he moves closer "So how about you answering my quiestion.
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Post by Naitia La-Don on Mar 12, 2009 22:00:49 GMT 1
Naitia smiles. "I of course refered to, if you should or wanted to use it. I know you're still able to use it."
She takes a deep breath while again considering her answer. She leans up against the doorframe, first looking down at the floor, before slowly moving her gaze back up to his eyes.
"Before I became a Padawan, I used most of my time studying the Force, not just ... using my time with practicing the lessons we were taught or were in groups with others trying to figure out the homework. I knew already then, that you could never stop in learning about the Force. As I grew older ..." she sighs a bid before continuing. "... I learned that I couldn't just sit by myself and end up being lonely or something."
She turns her head away from him and looks at another spot to the left of her. "One of the main reasons I want to stay in the Order, is of course because of all the good things I can do, for the people who needs help in this galaxy. But ..." she slowly turns her gaze back to him. "... I guess, that deep down, I have some fear, that if I leave my life as a jedi behind, I won't be able to use my abilities as I can in my position. Or learn something new about the Force, because let's face it ..."
She smiles sincerely at him. "We'll never stop learning something new about the Force. I wouldn't want to miss out on that. Or being with the friends I have in the Order.
As to the rules of the Order?" She shrugs a bid. "that's just something that I will have to live with, and live by. And as I said before, it doesn't bother me."
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Post by Derek Arnau on Mar 13, 2009 9:56:00 GMT 1
"and that's it? You stay in the Order to learn more about the force? You dont think you'll learn more if you leave. I tell you, there's so much more to life than what they teach you at the temple. You have friends, you say? Yes? But just imagine if those friends were to die? Would you be allowed to moun them? To miss them? Or should you appreciate that they're one with the force? How can you have friends, if you're not allowed any attachments? How can you Really help people, if you may not feel compassion?"
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Post by Naitia La-Don on Mar 13, 2009 13:14:36 GMT 1
"I can't go around, fearing my friends are gonna die, you know that just as well as I do. That's a weakness. If I'm to be out there, trying to help other people, I can't just sit around thinking, what if my friends are gonna die. If I'm to be loyal to the Order, and a good Jedi, then I can't show any signs of weakness."
She shakes her head a bid. "It's not just because I learn about the Force. It's also because I can help people. As I said, I haven't tried to live any other kind of life, but I feel safe knowing, that I'm in the place where I belong. I think I would feel quite lost, if I were to be outside the Order."
And about the attatchment and compassion? You know the rules about that as well." She takes one small step backwards, not quite sure, why he brought the whole attatchment thing up on the table.
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Post by Derek Arnau on Mar 13, 2009 14:44:33 GMT 1
Derek steps closer to Naitia yet again. "Yeah, I know the rules, that's not what I asked. How can you consider yourself a true friend, if you're not feeling some form of compassion and attachment towards them? And I did not ask you to walk around in fear of a friend dying, but to consider, whether you Really, truly believe you should not mourn the death of a friend?
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Post by Naitia La-Don on Mar 13, 2009 17:25:54 GMT 1
Naitia looks at him with a questioning look. "It is of course difficult, not being able to mourn the loss of a friend completely. But ... if a Jedi really wants to stay on the path of the Light side, then they have to see it as a challenge to not mourn them as much as you would if you had a normal life. But of course, you can never stop a person, even a Jedi from not mourning the loss of one you care about. That's something that's hard to ask someone to do."
She crosses her arms across her chest. "I haven't lost any friends, but when my Master left, it was just the same, because I haven't heard from her since then. I bet that was the same your friends felt, at the time you left the Order."
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Post by Derek Arnau on Mar 17, 2009 21:00:20 GMT 1
"I disagree. I have still keep in touch with my friend from the order unlike... you Master" Derek shakes his head with a sigh. "fine I'll leave you alone till we reach Corucant" he turns and leaves her.
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Post by Naitia La-Don on Mar 17, 2009 21:09:01 GMT 1
Naitia doesn't move, as he walks away. She's a little surprised by his words. She did suspect he would dig a little more in it.
She sighs a bid, and leans up against the doorframe. She's still a little curious on his situation.
"Isn't there something about the Order that you still approve of? I mean, there must have been something, that kept you there, since you were in the Order as long as you were?"
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Post by Derek Arnau on Mar 17, 2009 21:33:06 GMT 1
((derek has left the room and therefore can't hear her))
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Post by Naitia La-Don on Mar 17, 2009 21:38:52 GMT 1
Naitia rolls her eyes, turns and starts to walk back to the cockpit.
((Continued in the Coruscant board))
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