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Post by Kiineq Tiran on May 9, 2009 16:19:51 GMT 1
Kiineq turns from the cupboard, moving to stand right in front of Shep, his arms folded.
"Do you mind telling me what is bothering you, Padawan?" he asks.
It's clear that the Master has picked that something is distracting the boy.
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Post by Shep Azoras on May 9, 2009 16:27:46 GMT 1
Shep puts his hilt back on his belt and clasps his hand in the small of his back, before looking at his Master.
"It's just.. It's.. Erh.. I can't help tinking back to when.. " Sheps voice falters and he locks eyes with his Master, trying to find out how to voice what is bothering him.
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Post by Kiineq Tiran on May 9, 2009 16:35:15 GMT 1
Kiineq patiently waits for Shep to find the words.
As the Padawan catches his eyes Kiineq sends him an encouraging nudge through their bond.
"Go on..." he says.
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Post by Shep Azoras on May 9, 2009 16:41:22 GMT 1
"Well, it's just that... Erh... I.." Shep says. He turns around and walks afew steps away before turning back towards his Master. "I keep seeing you lying there, unconsious. Defenseless." He takes a few more steps. "What if I hadn't gotten there in time?" By now he almost has tears in his eyes his mind going over that moment again and again, playing out what could have happened.
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Post by Kiineq Tiran on May 9, 2009 17:26:56 GMT 1
"Shep!" Kiineq says, in an attempt to get the boy to focus. "Breathe. Calm down."
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Post by Shep Azoras on May 9, 2009 17:33:05 GMT 1
Shep stops cold, looking at his Master. He take a few deep breaths, trying to calm down.
"Sorry.. It's just.. Ehr... overpowering.. ?" He says slowly.
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Post by Kiineq Tiran on May 9, 2009 17:58:44 GMT 1
"Don't center on your anxieties, Shep."
Kiineq moves closer to Shep, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder.
"Noone will ever know what would have happened, Padawan." he gently says, trying to catch the boy's eyes "But yes, there would probably have been a big chance that I would not have survived"
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Post by Shep Azoras on May 9, 2009 18:07:09 GMT 1
Shep looks up at his Master with big slightly sad eyes. "But what if... " He leaves the question unfinished, knowing that he should not allow him self to ask it.
The Padawan turns away from his Master, taking a few steps to put distance between them, feeling embarrassed that he does not seem to be able to just do as his Master says.
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Post by Kiineq Tiran on May 9, 2009 18:20:48 GMT 1
"... it had happened?" Kiineq finishes the question "Then it would have been the will of the Force."
As Shep turns away from him, Kiineq sits down on the floor, his legs crossed. "Come here" He becons to Shep to sit down with him.
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Post by Shep Azoras on May 9, 2009 18:38:49 GMT 1
Shep half turns back to his Master, but makes no move to join him on the floor. "How can you just say that?" he asks. "I mean, how can you not .. Ehr... How can you be so calm about it? About .. ehr.. ehr.. ?"
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Post by Kiineq Tiran on May 9, 2009 19:45:27 GMT 1
"About dying?" Kiineq looks up at Shep with an undefinable expression on his face.
"Please, sit down"
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Post by Shep Azoras on May 9, 2009 19:52:12 GMT 1
"But.." Shep moves a few steps foreword before turning and heading back the other way. "How can you just be calm about it? Aren't you... ehr.... aren't yo.. " He trails off as he once again lacks words.
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Post by Kiineq Tiran on May 9, 2009 20:41:38 GMT 1
"By knowing that when I die it will be the will of the Force. And because I trust in the Force. The Force is my ally, my guide and my constant companion. There is no death, there is the Force. And so I will become one with the Force, when the time is ready." Kiineq patiently explains.
"You will have to accept the possibility of loosing me some day. And I you. But if you trust in the Force, you will never truly loose me."
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Post by Shep Azoras on May 9, 2009 21:04:05 GMT 1
"But how can you just accept that? I mean, I know if you die you'll be one with the Force, but... ehr.. It won't be the same.. you know?" Shep moves a bit closer to his Master, his eyes asking for Kiineq's understanding.
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Post by Kiineq Tiran on May 9, 2009 21:19:42 GMT 1
"No, it will not. It will be very different." Kiineq says, his eyes showing compassion and a deep affection for the boy. "But knowing that as long as we have the Force, the ones we care about will never be truly gone makes it easier to bear."
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Post by Shep Azoras on May 9, 2009 21:38:42 GMT 1
"But how can you be sure? How can you know that you will be one with the Force?" Shep takes another step closer to Kiineq though he is not yet close enough to sit down with the Master.
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Post by Kiineq Tiran on May 9, 2009 22:14:12 GMT 1
"How can you be sure you will not? Search your feelings - ask your heart. What does it tell you?"
Kiineq doesn't break eye contact with him.
"Strech out with your mind, deep into the Force, and you will feel it."
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Post by Shep Azoras on May 9, 2009 22:22:38 GMT 1
Shep looks at his Master. "But.." He stops and thinks for a moment. "I don't know if I could not be sad if you joined the Force, Master. I would miss you terribly."
Shep finally moves closer and sits down in front of his Master.
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Post by Kiineq Tiran on May 9, 2009 22:32:01 GMT 1
"And I'm not saying you shouldn't be. Not all tears are of evil." Kiineq says, and without even thinking of it sends a wave of compassion through their bond.
"But death is a natural part of life, Padawan."
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Post by Shep Azoras on May 9, 2009 22:43:04 GMT 1
"But I'd still wish you would never die, Master." Shep says.
He gets up and moves around for at few moments. "Wanna see this new trick I've picked up?"
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Post by Kiineq Tiran on May 9, 2009 22:50:53 GMT 1
"Don't change the subject, Padawan" Kiineq says, his voice turning a little stern.
The Master waits for the boy to rejoin the conversation.
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Post by Shep Azoras on May 9, 2009 22:54:52 GMT 1
"Sorry, Master." Sheps says respectfully, he turns back towards his Master. "But I really can't see how to accept death right now.. It just seems so ... ehr.. weird? Not real?"
He pauses for a moment. "I guess I just can't wrap my mind around it."
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Post by Kiineq Tiran on May 9, 2009 23:46:21 GMT 1
"That is only natural. "
Getting up in one fluid motion, Kiineq closes the gap between them. He places his hands on the boy's shoulders, giving them a reassuring squeeze.
"Do not let your fear of loosing consume you. Recognize it, but do not let it control you. Calm your mind and let it go with your anxieties."
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Post by Shep Azoras on May 9, 2009 23:57:08 GMT 1
"Yes, Master." Shep looks up into his Masters eyes, willing his shoulders to relax under his Masters hands. He takes deep breath, focusing on doing as his Master says, though exactly how successful he is, can be a matter of debate.
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Post by Kiineq Tiran on May 10, 2009 0:07:03 GMT 1
Feeling Shep trying to relax, Kiineq slows his own breathing. His hands stays on the Padawan's shoulders, creating a point of focus for him.
Holding the boy's gaze he says:
"Let me guide you. Close your eyes." Kiineq seeks Shep's mind throuh their bond.
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Post by Shep Azoras on May 10, 2009 0:09:00 GMT 1
Shep closes his eyes while opening his mind to Kiineq, letting the Master guide his thoughts.
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Post by Kiineq Tiran on May 10, 2009 0:18:15 GMT 1
Focusing on his breathing, Kiineq waits until their respiration is in complete unison.
[Show me what you are most afraid of] Kiineq instructs.
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Post by Shep Azoras on May 10, 2009 0:25:51 GMT 1
Shep lets his fears drift to the front of his mind, showing them to his Master.
First in line is the fear of losing his Master, of beings left alone. It is followed closely by the fear of no being able to learn what his Master is trying to teach him, of disappointing his Master.
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Post by Kiineq Tiran on May 10, 2009 0:37:33 GMT 1
Without noticing it, Kiineq has closed his eyes as well.
Feeling the strong emotions from his Padawan, Kiineq almost frowns in concentration.
[Now, imagine a sphere.] Kiineq sends a suggestion of what he means. [in this sphere you place all your fears, containing them there]
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Post by Shep Azoras on May 10, 2009 1:08:22 GMT 1
Shep follows his Masters instructions, gathering his fear in bubble and closing them in.
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